You can always reason with a German. You can always reason with a barnyard animal, too, for all the good it does.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.

A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.

At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race

Cow, goat, chicken, lamb . . . only slaves eat like this, ’ Musa said, heaping an impolite amount on to his plate. ‘Our stomachs are graveyards.

You can’t live your life in a bubble, Charlie. And you can’t live Evan’s life for him. He won’t thank you if you try to wrap him in bubble wrap and set him on a shelf.

And my only rule being if when I wake in the morning I'm looking forward to the things that I have to do that day, then I'm on the right track.

The man is meant to be the alpha in the relationship on the money and power front.

The way to be anxious about nothing is to be prayerful about everything.

I'm the most low-maintenance person on the road.

people with romantic illusions find it hard to make a living.

Lobsters one of the only animals that have to put up with being alive in the restaurant. If you go to a steakhouse, folks - no cow tank.

One tires of a page of which every sentence sparkles with points, of a sentimentalist who is always pumping the tears from his eyes or your own.

I could probably spend the next five years reworking an album from ten years ago, if given the chance, to make it better - make it best, so to speak.