You can behead people, you can crucify them, you can cut their hearts out and eat them on YouTube...but, don't screw with the place where God hid America's oil.

I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm the Beatles.

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?

The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.

If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.

False hope really makes you cynical.

To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.

It's not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That's predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.

You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash.

Here's the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He's never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He's totally - he's the white Kanye.

Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.

For Time calls only once, and that determines all.

I'm a big sports fan in general.

From the very beginning I felt that I would do a series.

By the time I left school, I had a lot of tenacity.

Almost every time somebody gives me a present, it ends up making me sad.

While there are many problems, if one focuses on the bigger picture there are numerous reasons to be thankful for living in a time of remarkable progress and wonderful possibilities for the future.

Genius hath electric power; Which earth can never tame; Bright suns may scorch and dark clouds lower; Its flash is still the same.

The alliance of love between a man and a woman, an alliance for life, cannot be improvised, and is not made in a day.

Rain is good for me. I feel like I achieve clarity actually when it rains. The longer I have to sit and wait, the clearer my game becomes to me.