You can do terrible things when you don't know who you are.

I've been punched by a vampire, an Indian girl, and a panda... I should be a video game.

They can't expect anyone to actually pay for a shirt that says, 'I (picture of an elephant) the San Diego Zoo.' What does that even mean?

I spy, with my little eye, something that starts with ... G." "Sausages.

Then it suddenly and theatrically began to clean itself in the way cats do when they want you to know what a big deal you aren't.

There's a little bit of magic in every box!

The United States was a big country where everybody wore funny t-shirts and ate too much.

...Almost everything inside was filled with sugar, cheese, and weight-loss tips.

I was the funny, outgoing kid who didn't understand how he could keep getting mistaken for a nerd nobody liked.

As far as pets go, a cat is a nice on to have.

Magic likes a good tragedy, too.

When men are oppressed, it's a tragedy. When women are oppressed, it's tradition.

But when I close my eyes, I'm more like THIS under the surface: I'm laughing and scheming and dreaming.

Motherhood is a dream. It really is absolutely amazing.

The lonely become either thoughtful or empty.

Not many people agree with what I do.

Whatever your goal in life, unless you develop a great urgency, what could be near will be far away.

It is feeling and force of imagination that make us eloquent.

We live in a beauty-obsessed culture, which on one hand is absolutely fabulous, but on the flip side, is also dangerously extreme.

The only way to write a novel is to proceed as if you had all the time in the world.

Every child should be taught to expect success