You can feel bad... I mean, that's not illegal.

You can't state difference and also state equality. We have to state sameness to understand equality.

As far as I'm concerned, if you want to find out about the last day of WWII or the roots of the Indian Mutiny, get thee to a books catalogue.

The past is always tense, the future perfect.

Protect the time and space in which you write. Keep everybody away from it, even the people who are most important to you.

Every moment happens twice: inside and outside, and they are two different histories.

Don’t romanticise your ‘vocation’. You can either write good sentences or you can’t. There is no ‘writer’s lifestyle’. All that matters is what you leave on the page.

Time is how you spend your love.

I am the sole author of the dictionary that defines me.

Don't confuse honours with achievement.

Pulchritude--beauty where you would least suspect it, hidden in a word that looked like it should signify a belch or a skin infection.

Friends are the siblings God never gave us.

Some of the best ideas I've gotten for my act have come from comedians and not magicians.

I don't enjoy lettering very much, but that's the way I write and that belongs in the strip because the strip is a reflection of me.

I don't know why I go to extremes.

The Commons is one of the most depressing and intellectually unstimulating places in the country. [On the state of British politics

To some of us, hunger was more academic than real, but we must try to develop the ability to feel the urgency of such a situation.

My career is media. One can turn on the TV or look at a magazine and see me.

Your attention has to be on your Spirit.

Dad? Um, listen. I have kind of a crazy story for you.

When lilacs last in the dooryard bloom'd / And the great star early droop'd in the western sky in the night, / I mourn'd, and yet shall mourn with ever-returning spring.