You can lade a man up to th' university, but ye can't make him think.

Trust everybody, but cut the cards.

A man's idea in a game of cards is war, cruel, devastating, and pitiless. A lady's idea of it is a combination of larceny, embezzlement and burglary.

A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case.

The past always looks better than it was; it's only pleasant because it isn't here.

Swearing was invented as a compromise between running away and fighting.

That is, no matther whether th' constitution follows th' flag or not, th' supreme coort follows th' iliction returns.

What is instinct? It is the natural tendency in one when filled with dismay to turn to his wife.

An appeal is when you ask one court to show its contempt for another court.

Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified as cannibals.

I niver knew a pollytician to go wrong ontil he's been contaminated by contact with a business man.

The darkness seeps in a little more every day. What have I done? How can I be like this?

I arise to face my failures every morning, but I never fail to face them.

I think that's what we all want, in the end.To know that we left footprints when we passed by, however briefly.We want to be remembered.So remember us.Please.Remember us.

What Britain needs is an iron lady.

When [disease] can't be stopped, that's where we become lost.

Allow your dog to take you for a walk every day. It's good for the body and it's good for the soul.

As long as we can be just the sidelight, the side issue, issues that deal with human beings, both men and women and children that should be given more prominence are not.

Above all, the listener should be able to understand the poem or the song, not be forced to unravel a complicated, self-indulgent puzzle. Offer your art up to the whole world, not just an elite few.

You never have these moments that, you know, are always perfect. Always something happens.

Drug-use is a terminal disease.