You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be led.

If any of you cry at my funeral I'll never speak to you again.

If you had a face like mine, you'd punch me right on the nose, and I'm just the fella to do it.

I had a dream that I was awake and I woke up to find myself asleep.

Humor is the truth; wit is an exaggeration of the truth.

I feel like dying when I'm helpless

I had a dream I was awake and I woke up to find myself asleep.

Humor is the truth wit is an exaggeration of the truth.

You CAN have your cake and eat it too. Just don't start choking.

Our chaotic, confused world has no greater need than to hear the message of good news - the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

We poison our lives with fear of burglary and shipwreck, and, ask anyone, the house is never burgled, and the ship never goes down.

I love most melodic music - classical, reggae, big band, jazz, blues, country, pop, swing, folk.

In bridge clubs and in councils of state, the passions are the same.

An art critic is someone who appreciates art, except for any particular piece of art.

Life’s never a postcard of life, is it? It never feels like how you’d want it to look.

It is obvious that the best qualities in man must atrophy in a standing-room-only environment.

Inhale, and God approaches you. Hold the inhalation, and God remains with you. Exhale, and you approach God. Hold the exhalation, and surrender to God.

America's support for human rights and democracy is our noblest export to the world.