You can make a very heavy and kind of dangerous 3-way shot glass out of a bowling ball.

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.

I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.

The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.

A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.

Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

See?" she heard Shane yell at the kitchen. "She doesn't stomp around like a cattle stampede!""Bite me, Collins! No bacon for you, either!

We all know that Hurry is the main cause of Worry. Yet we Hurry and Worry and miss the most beautiful experience called Life.

When we get too caught up in the busyness of the world, we lose connection with one another - and ourselves.

Anyone can be passionate but it takes real lovers to be silly.

Sarcasm creates a chasm between yourself and others.

To make peace, it is necessary to know how to make war.

My voice is like a rumour. I'm not sure if it came out or not, or if it is true.

Prayer does not enable us to do a greater work for God. Prayer is a greater work for God.

The only catalogue of this world's goods that really counts is that which we keep in the silence of the mind.

Today we're seeing fundamental conflicts within political Islam, with the fundamentalists on the one side and the moderates on the other. Who gains the upper hand means a great deal to the world.