You can make fun of your own a lot easier than someone else's.

I'm a lurker and a creep. Women don't like me because I sleep standing up, like a horse.

I'm insecure, and I need the validation of strangers to feel whole. So, I need every single racist 12-year-old on the Internet to like me, or I don't feel complete.

A hole is a hole has always been my motto.

I think everyone is bi, right? There's no such thing as sexual orientation, or race, or gender. Those are all obsolete man-made concepts.

I will smoke crack before I die. I want to see what all the hubbub is about.

I can't tell if the world is worse now or if we just have more cameras. There are cameras everywhere, so now the world knows how bad the world is.

I think we give human beings too much credit. We're primates, you know.

The president is the country's scapegoat more than the country's leader; the president has as much power as we think the president has. Whoever has the most money is the puppet master.

Do you think we're going to hit a tipping point and the world's going to end?

I'm an Aries. I need everybody to like me.

I have gone to [this bookshop] for years, always finding the one book I wanted - and then three more I hadn’t known I wanted.

Just be you. That's the best advice I can give. There are seven billion people in this world and there is no one like you.

I have to declare in all candor that no one interested in being published in our time can afford to be so naive as to believe that a book will make it merely because it's good.

The Fascist utopia, like that of the Communists, was false, and generated immense suffering. But there were those who dreamed it sincerely.

A reciprocal of a fraction is found by flipping it upside down. If you want the reciprocal of a mixed number or a whole number, just convert it to an improper fraction, and then flip it!

If you want to dry hump someone you don't know, just act like they were choking.

We had fun just messing around and being awkward like they would be awkward. There's always that stage in a friendship when you wonder whether it could be more.

Through the experience of memory, you recall what you have done, and you therefore attach yourself to it and perceive yourself through prior experience.

While companies were getting comfy cozy with the idea of being on social media platforms, social media transcended those platforms, and few businesses have followed.

As you get to know me, you kind of figure me out, that I'm not as probably as bad of a guy that I've been reported to be. I'm not that jerk.