You can never find the right bowling ball. This one's too heavy. This one's good but its pink!

The appetizer is just an excuse for an extra meal. Let's see, I will start with the eighty buffalo wings.

Yeah the appetizer, that's the food we eat before we have our food...No no you're thinking of dessert, that's food we eat after we have our food.

You wanna know how good bacon is? To improve other food, they wrap it in bacon.

Whenever you correct someone's grammar just remember that nobody likes you.

I talk kinda slow, especially for the Northeast, so it was a way to beat [would-be hecklers] to the punch.

My favorite vegetable is the marshmallow.

The only advantage to wearing glasses is that you can do that dramatic removal.

Anyone know if the shuttles to Hell will have Wifi? Asking for a friend.

One of the benefits of eating salad is that you can eat tons of it and never be satisfied.

In the end, the type of parent you are is going to be something that you carry with you. ... Having multiple kids, it's been a gift in a way. It's keeping the priorities straighter.

Thoughts are circular, they don't take you anywhere. They don't have feet-they can't gain any ground. They can trap you if you don't eventually stand up and make a move.

Nico drew his sword. His smile was even more unsettling than his scowl."Underground, " he said. "My favorite p

As I've gotten to know myself over the years, I realised I'm kind of a sweet, sensitive guy, a shy guy, and communication is not something I'm so good at.

Your job is to give people a reason to keep reading.

Our job is not to figure out the 'how'. The 'how' will show up out of the commitment and believe in the 'what

It's alright if you lose a few battles, but as long as you win the war, that's all that matters.

My mother found a letter, though, that I wrote her when I was 8 years old and it was a letter where I asked if she could take me to the orphanage because I would like to adopt a little baby.

There's always going to be haters. And the more hate you get, the better you are doing.

I'm sorry I can't get into Scooby Doo on any level.

The enemy is only a pretext to test our strength