You can not make someone love you. You can not be thin enough or white enough or famous enough. The choice is entirely the other person's. Then again, you might try hypnosis.

That's the thing about a great book. Every time you read it, it's different, because you're different. You've changed since the last time you picked it up, things have happened to you.

Why should I bring happiness to those I loathe by obliterating myself, when I can make them miserable just by existing?

We have no control over fate and history, but we can control how we conduct ourselves in this life.

That's really what the mall is all about: money. At the mall the rule is: Credito, ergo sum - I shop, therefore I am.

We are all the same in that we all want to be different.

Whining is a form of manipulation. People will give anything to make you shut up.

We often reward mediocrity because it is comforting. If they can do it, anyone can do it.

In relationships it is best to assume nothing.

My Macbook is my new boyfriend, except that he's dependable and meets all my demands.

Yes, it's true that you can't learn everything from books. But you do learn something about everything.

The ruling power is always faced with the question, ‘In such and such circumstances, what would you do?’, whereas the opposition is not obliged to take responsibility or make any real decisions.

Marketing shouldn't feel like marketing. It should feel like a story.

One man's cult is another man's religion.

My good friend Paul Shaffer and I are going to continue in show business. Next month Paul and I will debut our new act at Caesar's Palace with our white tigers.

The people say that the two seemed to be removed from human experience; that they had gone through pain and had come out on the other side.

You never want to be the whitest-sounding black guy in a room.

I realized that I wanted to get better in every way. As a person, as a friend, as a songwriter, as a musician, as an artist, record producer, you name it.

Confidence is a horrible thing

When we cannot hope to win, it is an advantage to yield.

I had no intention of pursuing either the characters or the setting further.