You can only offend me if you mean something to me.

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.

Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing.

So, to say Barack Obama is progress is saying that he's the first black person that is qualified to be president. That's not black progress. That's white progress.

Wealth is not about having a lot of money; it's about having a lot of options.

The advantage that my children have is that my children are encountering the nicest white people that America has ever produced. Let’s hope America keeps producing nicer white people.

I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.

Most people don't realize this, but you can eat organic, all natural, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you.

Smart is knowing if you're dumb. Knowing when to shut up and to listen to people that are smarter than you.

You know the world is messed up when the tallest man in the NBA is Chinese, the best golfer is black, and the best rapper is white.

One's freedom is one's love and one's love is one's undoing, it's all in the dictionary...

The human resource is limited to the duration of his/ her lifespan, while time is unlimited.

Every one is as God made him and often a great deal worse.

During a campaign speech in Ohio, President Obama said, 'I wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth'. So to be fair, he wants to take your silverware and spread it around.

We all decry prejudice, yet are all prejudiced.

I owe all my success in life to having been always a quarter of an hour before my time.

I used to have two double espressos a day. I gave that up, had headaches for five days but now I'm feeling great.

I grew up in a place where no one knew anyone in the entertainment business, I never knew it was an actual career.

I don't give a damn about marriage. But I do care about honor.

When I am outside at night by myself every person turns into a pedophile. So I tend to walk a little faster than usual and then I sprint.