You can play some schlock like New Kids On the Block.

It doesn't take a military genius to see we'll all be crispy critters after World War III.

As my father used to tell me, the only true sign of success in life is being able to do for a living that which makes you happy.

In heaven there is no beer. That's why we drink ours here.

If money can't buy happiness, then I guess I'll have to rent it.

You got me stranded on the bungee tower of love.

I'm still a geek on the inside, that's the important thing.

At this point I've got a bit of a track record. So people realize that when 'Weird Al' wants to go parody, it's not meant to make them look bad... it's meant to be a tribute.

If you want to avoid heated arguments, never discuss religion, politics, or whether the toilet paper roll should go over or under.

As a wise man once said, “April Fools Day is for amateurs. You NEVER need an excuse to mess with people's heads.”

Nows the time to go for all the gusto you can grab. You'll have plenty of time to be low-key when you're laid out on the slab.

Paradox of marriage: you can never know someone entirely

I thought how lovely and how strange a river is.

There are two types of people. Those we who come into a room and say, "Well, here I am!" and those who come in and say, "Ah, there you are."

It's tough to break yourself as news to a town that already knows you.

Juno MacGuff: [yelling through the house] Dad? Mac MacGuff: What? Juno MacGuff: Either I just peed my pants or um... Mac MacGuff: *Or*...? Juno MacGuff: THUNDERCATS ARE GO!

Thoughts are like bullets. You should be aware when you walk into a building what energy is there, whose thoughts are there. People should realize when people think of you their thought is on you.

We will never end poverty if we don't tackle climate change.

Limitations can be hugely creative and hugely inspiring - so long as they are the ones you choose for yourself.

The music is the magic carpet that other things take naps on.

If you're sincerely seeking God, God will make His existence evident to you.