You can really learn from Donahue. I didn't know you could be a woman in a man's body. You go out and you can't parallel park.

The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.

Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself.

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.

Excuse the mess but we live here.

As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.

Half the world's starving; the other half is trying to lose weight.

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we'll take up, and the more we'll have to be reckoned with.

I call myself a 'domestic goddess.

Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?

I quit smoking. I feel better. I smell better. And it's safer to drink out of old beer cans laying around the house.

Make a pledge to yourself right now, to declare that you are worth your time and energy.

I am crying over the loss of something I never had. How ridiculous. Mourning something that never was – my dashed hopes, dashed dreams, and my soured expectations.

... Everything he feels, he feels strongly. Too strongly, sometimes. I think he freaks people out.

I’ve seen and done things that will give you nightmares, but only you, Julia, only you have the power to bring me to my knees.

She's a hypnotist collector; you are a walking antique.

Although under particular circumstances, the violence method - any method - can be justified, nevertheless once you commit violence, then counterviolence will be returned.

A lot of parts on television are static. Nothing really changes.

There is a certain expectation of girls to eventually grow up and behave and fall in line. I've always bucked against that.

At every single moment of one's life one is what one is going to be no less than what one has been.

You two go and have fun. I have plenty of stuff here to entertain me with. Plato rocks! (Tory)