You can say any fool thing to a dog and the dog will just give you this look that says, 'My GOSH, you're RIGHT! I NEVER would've thought of that!

You should definitely visit the Louvre, a world-famous art museum where you can view, at close range, the backs of thousands of other tourists trying to see the Mona Lisa.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.

Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

Who is considered a great man is the one who can be the smallest of the small.

All words, then, belonging to the inner world of the mind, are of the imagination, are originally poetic words.

I think life is so difficult to catch, it's so furtive, that a copy, a film, can in no way catch it and represent it.

Celluloid will be the next decade's black and white.

The people themselves must think, because the people alone can act.

God protects those he loves from worthless reading.

It is terrible when people do not know God, but it is worse when people identify as God what is not God.

My view of life is, that it's next to impossible to convince anybody of anything.

One of the ego's favorite paths of resistance is to fill you with doubt.

Moral capitalism is possible; if not, its strictures are only a kind of misleading vanity, the rhetoric of a secular piety.