You can say the nastiest things about yourself without offending anyone.

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

I've tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t'ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

Self-will and prayer are both ways of getting things done. At the center of self-will is me, carving a world in my image, but at the center of prayer is God, carving me in his Son's image.

Common will please, but never impress.

The best lessons of life are learnt in silence and solitude.

the great advantage of really contemporary fiction is that one finds oneself mirrored on every page

If you keep seeing events and others through your existing lens you would miss out on the new possibility. Sometimes, reality!!!

Even the demons are encouraged when their chief is "not lost in loss itself.

I look at being an actress as being like a mummy: You're bandaged up and preserved as soon as you start making other people money.

Without a sense of proportion there can be neither good taste nor genuine intelligence, nor perhaps moral integrity.

A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon, it's time to go home and turn up the pot roast and get the peas out of the freezer.

Let's try winning and see what it feels like. If we don't like it, we can go back to our traditions.