You can't TV surf without coming across an Andy of Mayberry episode where you've just got to watch Don as Barney. And that's why I put Don in several of my movies.

I spend a lot of time thinking of the Hereafter - each time I enter a room I wonder what I'm here after.

At first I wanted to be a jockey. I rode horses in Cleveland but I kept falling off and I was afraid of horses. So there wasn't much of a future in it.

I resent my barber when he charges the full cost after he cuts my hair, but he says he's charging me for finding it.

My career is pretty much over. I'm out in the Valley eating soft-boiled eggs.

Phyllis Diller came through a mine field of male comedians when she arrived on the comedy scene and she defused them all. She won her place in the Hall of Comedy as the First Lady. I will miss her.

I've never really taken anything very seriously. I enjoy life because I enjoy making other people enjoy it.

I like to work a lot with wood. I make furniture that falls apart. I also sew.

I figure you're only here for a matter of moments. Ever since I was a kid watching movies I've always wanted to make people laugh or have some sort of emotional reaction.

Fortunately my wife is understanding. When I come home from the races she never asks any questions, if I tell her I just ate a $380 hot dog.

The reason 'The Carol Burnett Show' did so well in the ratings is because people were looking for that comfort zone when the whole family sat around and watched television and enjoyed it.

Truths are written, never said... Lines are drawn, but then they fade.

We are all pencils in the hand of God.

Knowledge is an exceptional kind of property which cannot be lost or used up.

Negative anger that is unchecked is a fire out of control, it can burn everything in its path.

No matter how meaningless you may think that your life is, there are some people out there who would love to be in your position. Be grateful with your life while pushing for more blessings.

I try to have reasonably happy endings because I would hate any child to be cast down in gloom and despair; I want to show them you can find a way out of it.

A 'mistake' is beside the point, for once anything happens it authentically is.

Where all life dies death lives.

Castle is a guy living in a fantasy world. He's in his imagination, writing these stories of murder.

Jesus is not a good way to heaven, nor even the best way. He is the only way to heaven.