You can't be funny if you don't have good material.

I believe that laughter is the best emotional Band-Aid in the world. It's like nature's Neosporin.

Why do you have to break up with her? Be a man. Just stop calling.

As an actor, the biggest compliment you can get, in my book is for someone to believe that you're the character.

My favorite character on Friends was Joey, because we're both actors. I always thought that was so cool.

I find the earth to be a place of misery in which I am surrounded by the conformity that kills society.

The phone's not ringing off the hook, but that's ok by me. I feel very fortunate, work to me has become a kind of hobby.

A true gentleman doesn’t prefer blondes. A true gentleman doesn’t have any preferences whatsoever.

Work to me has become kind of a hobby. I was a part of something that gave me financial independence and the rent is paid. Now it's just about projects that turn me on.

I have funny bones. If there's ever any kind of tension, I'll always be the one to try and be funny to loosen things up.

When there's writing that you really trust, it's very freeing as an artist.

Who can play without wanting to succeed even with a sentimentally gain?

Too often, the landlord-tenant relationship is unbalanced with all the power on the side of unscrupulous landlords.

A new question has arisen in modern man's mind, the question, namely, whether life is worth living...No sensible answer can be given to the question...because the question does not make any sense.

The person who takes the banal and ordinary and illuminates it in a new way can terrify. We do not want our ideas changed.

Blasphemy and sedition (meaning the truth about Church and State).

The first time I did stand-up was on a dare.

No misfortune is worse than underestimating the enemy. Underestimating the enemy, I risk losing my treasure.

In the country of the blind, the one-eyed king can still goof up.

How can a motion picture reflect real life when it is made by people who are living artificial lives?

Remember gentleman, it's not just France we're fighting for, it's Champagne!