You can't become tempted if you just give in a little quicker.

I can smell bullshit from a mile away but it's so much harder to detect when it's around you all day.

I'm a late-night guy.

I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny.

I don't laugh out loud at comics a lot.

Here's how you know that you're really drunk: when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time.

Losing my mind sounds so pessimistic. I prefer the term winning my insanity.

When people refer to 'Back in the Day,' it was a Wednesday. Just a little fun fact for you.

I'm quitting the business today. I'm going to open up an appliance store, I've always really been into toasters. I'm giving it all up.

I don't write any of my material down. I like to improvise and be spontaneous.

Trolls look for reasons to hate but really what they are mad at is the fact they are not included in anything ever.

The reason for spiritual enlightenment is not to escape life, but to learn how to live it richly, to enjoy it.The Language of Soul

It appears there's a little too much chlorine in their gene pool.

Usually, you do a shakeup because you know that you have a problem or you gaps and you're going to fill those gaps.

People do complain about the way I act on stage... They think on stage I act too arrogant, too self-obsessed, solecistic, self-contained, synonyms.

Life itself is a school, and Nature always a fresh study.

That a thing is peculiar; is no argument for its being blamable; since the most criminal actions are to a being like man not more unnatural than most of the virtues.

We made our Moriarty very different to [Conan] Doyle's. He's Irish, and he brings all his charm, his twinkle and his humor to it while he's also terrifying.

It's great to be able to employ people who other people wouldn't consider viable employees.

I've always loved the Sangha. I have the deepest, deepest respect for them. I'm very sorry that in the West people don't appreciate what the monastic order is about.

I saw a Werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hand