You can't cure your own cancer, obviously, especially if it's late stage.

I don't have a tuxedo that fits anymore because my chest and my biceps are too big.

I'm tired of pretending like I'm not bitching, a total fricking rock star from Mars...

Boom, crush. Night, losers. Winning, duh.

I've got magic. I've got poetry at my fingertips.

People say it's lonely at the top, but I sure like the view.

I still don't have all the answers. I'm more interested in what I can do next than what I did last.

The best way to not get your heart broken, is pretending you don't have one.

It's quite fitting that Slash is getting a star on the very street Axl Rose will one day be sleeping on.

I am on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available. If you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.

My success rate is 100 percent. Do the math.

Today is the beginning of new history.

It is customary for those who wish to have the most beautiful ones to endeavourer to offer them gifts of those things which they hold most precious in order to win their hearts.

There is no subject on which more dangerous nonsense is talked and thought than marriage.

We are entertainers. We have to give our audience a good time. If my name serves that purpose, if that brings a smile on your face, then I think it is good and my job has been done.

The stronger the winds, the deeper the roots, and the longer the winds, the more beautiful the tree.

When you focus on your greatness you elevate everyone around you.

With such compelling information, the question is why havent we been able to do more to prevent the crisis of underage drinking? The answer is: the alcohol industry.

A woman asked me recently, "What are the blocks to my happiness?" I said, "The belief that you have blocks."

The fights I fought... cost a lot --the fight for the assault-weapons ban cost 20 members their seats in Congress. The NRA is the reason the Republicans control the House.