You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.

There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.

I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.

I get up every morning and read the obituary column. If my name's not there, I eat breakfast.

Be a success but never forget to be kind. Success has no meaning if your heart is empty of kindness.

There are those who wrap themselves in flags and blow the tinny trumpet of patriotism as a means of fooling the people.

Quentin Tarantino asked me to work with him but there is no way I am going to do that while Matthew Vaughn is working in film.

To philosopher and historian the madness and imbecile wickedness of mankind ought to appear ordinary events.

Narcissus is the glory of his race: For who does nothing with a better grace?.

Witticisms are fire-arms, that make a noise and give pain.

When much virtue is achieved, nothing is not overcome.

Trying to forget really doesn't work. In fact, it's pretty much the same as remembering. But I tried to forget anyway, and to ignore the fact that I was remembering you all the time.

I am obsessed with you, angel. Addicted to you. You're everything i've ever wanted or needed, everything i've dreamed of. You're everything. I live and breathe you. For you.