You can't just yell jokes at people.

I love doing stuff with Todd Barry and Jon Benjamin. We give the stage to good bands and funny people.

Occasionally I'll watch Fox News for as long as I can tolerate it, or CNN. I'll watch until I get infuriated, but you got to know what they're talking about and what they're not talking about.

I like pot, I enjoy pot, I like to smoke it. But, the one thing I don't like about pot is the subculture it's spawned. I think it's embarrassing and really juvenile and uncreative

You cannot win a War on Terrorism. It's like having a war on jealousy.

Sketches have characters, exits, entrances and are vastly different.

We should just get somebody from the left and the right and they should all throw bumper stickers at each other and the first one to cover the other one wins.

I hate bumper stickers, you can't sum anything up. All you do is paint yourself in some caricaturist corner.

The Bible is the funniest book I have ever read. It's so funny! Right in the first six pages, it's funny!

The South has more of a disproportionate amount of irony on T-shirts than any other region in the country.

I went to a bunch of marches in New York and Washington, and you know I believe in the cause, but to march with those people takes a lot of compromise on my end.

I'm more encouraged by the saplings: new music groups, tiny new venues, entrepreneurial musician-composers who aren't waiting to be discovered but are instead building their own Establishment.

There is no such thing as freedom of choice unless there is freedom to refuse.

Like as the culver on the bared bough Sits mourning for the absence of her mate

Of all God's gifts to the sighted man, color is holiest, the most divine, the most solemn.

Last week I saw a woman flayed, and you will hardly believe, how much it altered her person for the worse.

Will you still love me when I'm no longer young and beautiful? Will you still love me when I've got nothing but my aching soul?

I wanted to create something really aggressive and psychedelic

Love is never wasted, even if it is not reciprocated.

I always write about my own experiences, whether I've had them or not.

Quite frequently, he who goes too fast gets there too late - or not at all.