You can't kill me, I've got a magic... AAAARGH !

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

We are entitled to violate history, provided that it results in handsome offspring.

Thankfulness is the life of contentment.

Fortune and love favor the brave.

Your best penalty killer is your goalie.

You just get better with age. You learn yourself and the league. I'm starting to understand more about hitting every year.

The character of the crowds is made up of mimicry and hostility.

You don't have to twist my arm to work.

We should offer the American public less expensive insurance.

If you want to be loathsome to God, just run with the herd.

I love to be envied, and would not marry a wife that I alone could love; loving alone is as dull as eating alone.