You can't make money on Broadway. You make nothing. You maybe make like $1,350 a week after you pay out all the producers.

I think Helen of Troy must have been pretty hot. She got two countries going crazy for 10 years over her.

You can’t make everybody laugh. You gotta just do what you think is funny. Just be obstreperous to everybody.

I know nowadays the common wisdom is to celebrate diversity as long as you don't point out that people are different.

I'm just another guy who thinks he's smarter than he is, in a long line of them.

The ancient Greeks were the first ones to say an unexamined life is not worth living. They don't tell you of course what we found out, an examined life not that fascinating either.

The earth is a used Kleenex on the universe's nightstand.

Twitter is one of those dangerous toys that if it gets in the hands of the wrong person you'll have the mind of a 12-year-old masquerading as an adult.

So instead of talking about theoretical ways of ending the war and violence, I say that we have to get rid of the individual asholes in each office and situation.

People say history is boring, and that is true because people are boring. We haven't changed since time began. We're still the same.

I get the impression the English kings were witty, for some reason. I feel like all you had was your wit.

I only come out for food.

A daring faith, a willing spirit.

My parents taught me to believe that through the creative act, we're able to transcend and give a response to desecration.

When it comes to foreign policy, it is important to remember that politics stops at the water's edge.

No one has failed who keeps trying and keeps praying.

My mother was a singer, and I never heard her sing a note in my life.

What is simple is wrong, and what is complicated cannot be understood.

A manager's task is to make the strengths of people effective and their weakness irrelevant - and that applies fully as much to the manager's boss as it applies to the manager's subordinates.

You will be known as the One who protected the Eight.” - Hilde to One

I'm a lover of songs.