You can't please everyone, nor should you seek to, because then you won't please anyone, least of all yourself.

People will kill you over time, and how they'll kill you is with tiny, harmless phrases, like 'be realistic.'

Money can't buy you love, but it can get you some really good chocolate ginger biscuits.

Black Books adheres to a more old fashioned, traditional sitcom format, which I think works, because in its own way, it's quite theatrical.

You’re not an adult at all - you're just a tall child holding a beer, having conversations you don't understand...

Don't do it! Stay away from your potential. You'll mess it up, it's potential, leave it. Anyway, it's like your bank balance - you always have a lot less than you think.

I'm quite a compulsive person-I only worked this out recently - I'm compulsive, but I'm also very indecisive. I don't know what I want, but I know that I want it now.

Oh how I hate you. I hate you so much it gives me energy. I have to get up early in the morning just to hate you, because there's not enough time in the day! Please GO AWAY!

I don't do drugs. If I want a rush I just stand up when I'm not expecting it.

I think you should, yeah. You should wash your beard, then shave it off, nail it to a Frisbee and fling it over a rainbow.

You try various things when you're growing up. I was an attache in the Foreign Service for a while and then I drove a bulldozer, but neither of those panned out for me so it had to be stand-up.

I think there are a lot of celebrities who put on a performance on camera.

I don't know about one moment that has pivoted my career. I do know that one thing that hit me and made me take a few steps back was a year at Steamboat.

Ringo is Ringo, that's all there is to it. And he's every bloody bit as warm, unassuming, funny and kind as he seems. He was quite simply the heart of the Beatles

Chimpanzees will eat a little bit of meat. But, they never eat dairy products, and no other animal would do that.

I won't admit or deny anything...makes me more interesting.

Empathy involves the inner experience of sharing in and comprehending the momentary psychological state of another person.

We are a very colorful family. Everybody knows our mistakes. But I think that people can relate to all of our mistakes and all or good and bad points.

First law of Bad Management: If something isn't working, do more of it.

If you don't have any enemies in life you have never stood up for anything.

Those whose work and pleasure are one... are... Fortune's favoured children.