You can't trample infidels when you're a tortoise. I mean, all you could do is give them a meaningful look.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

We were so little when you took away all our sins.

One of the greatest pieces of economic wisdom is to know what you do not know.

I prefer the wicked rather than the foolish. The wicked sometimes rest.

I'm happy that I can focus on my body a little bit. I'm not happy to get surgery, but I'm happy that I can focus on getting better.

Do you love this God who is everything, or do you just love everything He gives you?

Design is... above all an effort to improve reality... I always try to begin with considerations of its function... I ask myself, who needs it, which materials best suit its functions and so on.

Oscar Peterson is the greatest living influence on jazz pianists today.

In war, force is used by the belligerents themselves, no effort being made to bring evildoers before a judicial body, each army acting as judge, jury and executioner.

In death, as in sleep, I am all things.

He isn't a real boss until he has trained subordinates to shoulder most of his responsibilities.