You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.

The man in our society is the breadwinner; the woman has enough to do as the homemaker, wife and mother.

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.

How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil'ss Brew. I happened to stumble across a case of bourbon - and went right on stumbling for several days thereafter.

Self-awareness happens when we become aware of other people, things and places around us and how we are all connected.

The mouth is but a megaphone to the desires of the heart.

I trust myself. You need that to survive.

No power on earth compares to a mother's tender prayers.

Music ministers to human welfare more than any other art.

Please explain to me why John Kerry sounds more dickish telling the truth than Bush sounds when he's lying. How is that possible?

Once someone dreams a dream, it can't just drop out of existence. But if the dreamer can't remember it, what becomes of it?

Cats were put into the world to disprove the dogma that all things were created to serve man.

The blues is an art of ambiguity, an assertion of the irrepressibly human over all circumstances, whether created by others or by one's own human failing.

Every footballer wants to play forever. And if you are going to keep on playing - to enjoy it to the full - you want to win games, and as a result, trophies.