You can tell what was the best year of your father's life, because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out.

Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it, it's too risky. You get a sense of it and then you look away.

These pretzels are making me thirsty!

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

So let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen. You see an éclair in the receptacle... and you think to yourself: "What the hell, I'll just eat some trash."

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.

Airline hostesses show you how to use a seatbelt in case you haven't been in a car since 1965.

Sam and Patrick looked at me. And I looked at them. And I think they knew. Not anything specific really. They just knew. And I think that's all you can ever ask from a friend.

The best time to seek a favour is when you can give something in return. The best time to expect to succeed is when you're capable of working for it.

One is to a human and other is to adopt humanity

Tomorrow is a satire on today And shows its weakness.

I've learned that while I'd be a fool not to stay open to the advice and experiences of the smart, amazing people in my life, I also need to listen to what I have to say.

If Heaven is up, I'm going. I know I'm right in my heart. This world is not my home. This life will soon be gone, and, one day, I'll spread my wings, as an angel, and fly away.

I didn't want to feel like I was mimicking or copying someone else's performance, whether it's subconscious or not.

When the chips are down, grandmothers can be counted on to do whatever's necessary. When the chips are down for grandfathers, we just go into the kitchen and get more chips.

Okay, maybe I don't go around loving everybody I meet, maybe my smiles are hard to come by, but I do care for some people.

When the devil is called the god of this world, it is not because he made it, but because we serve him with our worldliness.