You can truly grieve for every officer who's been lost in the line of duty in this country, and still be troubled by cases of police overreach.

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy. Like standing in the operating room when a guy's heart stops, and you're the one who has to fix it!

We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There's just one problem - it's in North Korea.

Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.

I've always liked Atlanta. And not just for the strip clubs, but the shopping and the food.

Yes, reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake.

I really like to put my name on everything, so my roommate doesn't steal it. It's really a throwback to that.

I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over.

If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don't have a regime.

Evil is relatively rare. Ignorance is epidemic.

Most of our life we pass by waiting for tomorrow, but not living for today.

Save one-third, live on one-third, and give away one-third

Most people are nice and just want to have a chat.

To give oneself is the only way of becoming oneself.

Feminism means revolution and I am a revolutionist.

So in other words, we were constantly challenged to grow, and thats what a master does.

His mind was like a soup dish, wide and shallow; it could hold a small amount of nearly anything, but the slightest jarring spilled the soup into somebody's lap

And that's when I realized, when you're a kid you don't need a costume, you ARE superman.

Religious truth, or for that matter any truth, requires a calm and meditative atmosphere for its percolation.

For this God is our God for ever and ever: he will be our guide even unto death.