You can vibe out when people are getting tired or they're too drunk to keep going along with.

If it has to sell its mascot, your team sucks.

Fantasy football is not only a good thing, but a great thing.

If it doesn't know what to charge you for nosebleed seats, your team sucks.

What bothers me most about today is that we're getting used 2 it. ENOUGH. 2nd amendment must go. Violence has 2 stop. Culture MUST change.

You know how to tell if the teacher is hung over? Movie Day.

When human beings stop progressing at an endeavor, they stop enjoying it and move on to something else. Not golfers. Masochists, all of them.

I think golf is a waste of time and a waste of a sunny afternoon. I also stink at it. I have never found anything, including divorce and a sexual harassment suit, more frustrating.

If a waiter or waitress tells me when gratuity is included they automatically get more gratuity. When they hide it I go with the leg kick.

I miss third grade because you could kill people in dodgeball. Remember the rules to dodgeball? If you're fat or have glasses, don't show up because you'll die.

Why are baseball managers the only coaches who dress up like the players?

Will you have the courage to obey the voice of God?

If something was confusing or difficult, then it was a positive thing. Confusion is a positive.

Nothing is more American than stuffing your face with loaded potato skins while drinking loaded mudslides.

Jesus taught that perseverance is the essential element in prayer.

If these walls could talk, I wonder what secrets they'd tell.

A truly educated man never ceases to learn.

Artists have a sensibility that others don't have. They have a way of reading into the future.

I have the heart of a child. I keep it in a jar on my shelf.

I didn't care too much for ballet, because you had to be more disciplined, and you sort of looked like everyone else. It required a certain kind of conformity that I didn't feel like I wanted to do.

Disneyland is a work of love.