You can write a little and can draw a little, but there's necessarily a limitation on both in a comic strip, since it appears in such a tiny space.

Brits have a better sense of humor in most ways. It's darker, more cutting.

When you can't draw chameleons and you can't draw blenders, it's a bad idea to write strips where chameleons become blenders.

If somebody is not on the same page with me humor wise, I can't give them that.

I seem to be able to get away with pun strips if I add a panel at the end where I somehow indicate that I know it's a bad pun.

It's best to love your family as you would a Siberian tiger-from a distance, preferably separated by bars.

Sticking to my schedule, Ive gotten over seven months ahead, which allowed me to write a Pearls Before Swine movie script for the big screen.

I was a lawyer for 10 years, and when youre in law, things really have to get done, or somebody sues you. Its a great trick.

Most poetry just confounds me. I really want to like it, but I can't help thinking it's a hoax. (p. 24)

If you put me in South Park, that audience is going to fall asleep in five minutes.

The writing is done on the computer, and the drawing is done by hand. I write, write, write, then I hit the illustration.

In some situations, no one has courage to challenge the reason. Since faith causes the reasoning to evaporate.

An androgynous mind was not a male mind. It was a mind attuned to the full range of human experience, including the invisible lives of women.

He concluded that governments were like wars: the reasons and the forces might change, but it was still the same dying over the same soil.

I remember I used to come up to my teacher crying because I couldn't read. She would say: 'You can do this. You just don't want to do this.'

Your ability to get along well with others will determine your happiness and success as much as any other factor.

April comes like an idiot, babbling and strewing flowers.

Sometimes, words have consequences you don't intend them to mean.

My heart matters to God. My heart has always mattered to him.

An ill winde that bloweth no man to good.

Winning isn't always championships.