You can write jokes at any point of the day. Jokes are not that hard to write, or they shouldn't be when it is literally your job.

You don't need people’s opinion on a fact. You might as well have a poll asking: ‘Which number is bigger, 15 or 5?’ or ‘Do owls exist?’ or ‘Are there hats?'

Drug companies are a bit like high school boyfriends - they're much more concerned with getting inside you than being effective once they're in there.

What a tiresome place America would be if freedom meant we all had to think alike or be the same color or wear the same gray flannel suit! That road leads to the conformity of the graveyard!

News is not a game show. You don't win a car if you happen to be right.

Economics is like the Dutch language - I'm told it makes sense, but I have my doubts.

One thing that America is objectively exceptional at is overreacting whenever anyone accuses them of not being exceptional.

The Confederate flag is one of those things that should only be seen on t-shirts, belt buckles and bumper stickers to help the rest of us identify the worst people in the world.

Anybody who claims to be excited for April Fools' Day is probably a sociopath.

Life is a short walk. There is so little time and so much living to achieve.

My fight is not for racial sameness but for racial equality and against racial prejudice and discrimination.

Contemporary' was in those days [1953] synonymous with 'modern' as it had not been before and is not now [1977].

It is a trick among the dishonest to offer sacrifices that are not needed or not possible to avoid making those that are required.

I've gone on workout regimes, but I seem to have a system that is very resistant to changing.

The only thing more intimidating than a huge international film star is your mother-in-law.

I didn't break the rules, but I challenged the rules.

The playing adult steps sideward into another reality; the playing child advances forward to new stages of mastery.

MS-DOS isn't dead, it just smells that way.

We do not strive for spectacular actions. What counts is the gift of yourself, the degree of love you put into each of your deeds.

now I bring full-flavoured wine out of a barrel found Where seven Ephesian topers slept and never knew When Alexander's empire passed, they slept so sound.