You cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad.

You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.

Failures are finger posts on the road to achievement.

I know lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence.

It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.

There's no such thing as being too Southern.

The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity.

Baptists never make love standing up. They're afraid someone might see them and think they're dancing.

It's better to have died a small child than to be a politician who gets caught in a scandal during a slow news month.

You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, 'What's in it for me?'

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.

Art is a kind of mining, " he said. "The artist a variety of prospector searching for the sparkling silver of meaning in the earth.

Even in death, her mother was winning.

But here's a great thing about stories: they can be retold.

For now, we live in the mall, but I think it's closing soon.

Poetry is one of the destinies of speech... One would say that the poetic image, in its newness, opens a future to language.

Waking up every day and coming to the ballpark and playing baseball ... that's a good feeling.

I've asked Comedy Central, and they just say, "I don't know." It took Showtime two years to put my special on DVD. Owning your own content is the single most important thing in the world.

This liberal doxy must be impaled upon the member of a particularly large stallion.

Mother Nature made me the way I am, and I should be happy.

The devil never gave a gift for free.