You cant put the toothpaste back in the tube.

Bad books on writing tell you to "WRITE WHAT YOU KNOW", a solemn and totally false adage that is the reason there exist so many mediocre novels about English professors contemplating adultery.

Tonight we're going to show you eight silent ways to kill a man.

Rationalism doesn't require "belief," only observation. The real, measurable world doesn't care what you believe.

Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it is awfully hard to get it back in.

The worst advice a young writer can get is "Write what you know." Imagination is more important than experience.

All experience is memory, and so everything you write about is from memory-unless you're writing about typing.

A good sign that an army has been around too long is that it starts getting top-heavy with officers.

Maybe war is an inevitable product of human nature. Maybe to get rid of war, we have to become something other than human.

There's no such thing as writing about the future. The future hasn't happened yet.

It is pretty well settled that the city is the Negro's great contribution to civilization, for it was in Africa where the first cities grew up.

There are no trophies for the real victories in life.

Let's see what's going on over in Iraq. A Burger King has opened up and prostitutes are back on the street of Baghdad after 20 years. Fast food and hookers - they are truly living the American Dream.

I am living permanently in my dream, from which I make brief forays into reality.

I'd like to do a piece of Shakespeare. Any upcoming Shakespeare film. Just a bit to say I did a classic.

Think of the tools in a tool-box: there is a hammer, pliers, a saw, a screwdriver, a rule, a glue-pot, nails and screws.--The function of words are as diverse as the functions of these objects.

People who do not get into scrapes are a great deal less interesting than those who do.

I cry very easily. It can be a movie, a phone conversation, a sunset - tears are words waiting to be written.

Everyday above ground is a great day, remember that.

I love guys and the way they think; they're so straightforward - and women can learn from that.

Be blind. Be stupid. Be British. Be careful.