You could figure out at least 80 percent of the context and meaning of a text if people used punctuation, and we wouldn't have had to write our sketch.

If you look at any successful skit comedy show, ever, there is that format of introducing you to the player in the beginning, and then going on to see those sketches.

You hold precious what you create for yourself in your life that makes you comfortable.

There's a sketch where we're playing two terrorists in a cave, and my terrorist is very frustrated as to why we haven't flown a plane into a building in 13 years.

I'm racist against non-black people.

I have always, or for the most part, identified myself as a biracial person.

Being a melting pot is what I think is great about being American, and also that we get to do something that other people don't get to do, we get to be a hyphenate. That's a good thing.

You can not have comedy unless people are behaving badly. You can't have it.

The audience loves to figure things out. They love it when a performer leaves a trail of bread crumbs for them, and they get to participate in the comedy.

If I could just get over my issues of wanting people to like me.

I have this little thing that people call Keegan-ese, where I don't speak English words at all. I just say stuff like, "You gotta toish the doish and you gotta maloish the hoish."

Those who deny freedom to others, deserve it not for themselves

Liberty may be gained, but can never be recovered." (Bk2:8)

One can build the Empire State Building discipline the Prussian army make a state hierarchy mightier than God yet fail to overcome the unaccountable superiority of certain human biengs.

I take vitamins. I workout every day.

If you’re an alcoholic or a drug addict, we flirt with death. We pull ourselves to the brink of destruction and if we’re lucky we pull ourselves back. We all have that in us.

I think we need politicians; we need people who want to serve.

I've always been fascinated by quantum physics and the possibility of alternate realities.

That American Taliban kid Johnny Walker was indicted today. Ten counts of terrorism. He could get 5 life sentences. In Taliban terms, that's 360 virgins.

There are so many designers that I love, and I'm so lucky that I get to work with so many of them and sometimes spend time with them.

Do it. Do it right. Do it right now.