You'd learn more about the world by lying on the couch and drinking gin out of a bottle than by watching the news.

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they couldn't hear the barbarians coming.

Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.

Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.

Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.

Sometimes there is nothing you can do, and in those times, you must do something anyway.

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. ~Garrison Keillor

All nineteen-year-old males are children who are men capable of war.

When the north wind blew across the tar ponds, voices were carried away.

Won't you be my girlfriend I'll treat you goodI know you hear your friends when they say you should 'Cause if you were my girlfriend I'd be your shining star The one to show you where you are

Partnership is not a posture but a process-a continuous process that grows stronger each year as we devote ourselves to common tasks.

I just turned 66, and I'm starting to work again.

There is no better taste than this: someone else’s laughter in your mouth.

A yawn is more disconcerting than a contradiction.

A man who recognizes no God is probably placing an inordinate value on himself.

Assertion is not argument; to contradict the statement of an opponent is not proof that you are correct.

Writing about unknown people means I spend a lot of time arguing to the reader about why it's worth knowing about them. That's challenging, but then the piece is pure discovery.