You'd think when you saw my old MTV stuff that I was always drunk and high and all that stuff. I wasn't.

I was one of the first veejays to take the camera out on location, and that's what was unique about MTV at that time.

I kind of was raised at The Comedy Store by comedians. When you see my dad on stage before me and then you see me, you'll see where I got a lot of my stuff.

Serious and intense people, they drain you. But someone who's an idiot, like myself, they're fun. You either hate me or you love me.

Whenever someone dies everyone says, I love that guy, except for Jeffrey Dahmer.

I want to do an 'Extreme Makeover' show. You know that MTV show 'I Want To Have A Famous Face'? Well, I want to do a new show. I want to have a different famous face.

My mom is two people to me. She's my mom number one, and then she's this lady most comedians know as being a legendary owner of a nightclub that's responsible for starting a lot of heavy careers.

I liked Evel Knievel, and that game Mouse Trap. That was pretty cool.

I giggle when I put myself down. It's just funny to me.

Comedy wasn't something I chose - it chose me.

I'm not used to getting good reviews.

Everything in life is a story just waiting to be written.

Let emotion inform, but not form, your decision

Don't let life discourage you everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was.

I'm never nervous when I go to meet heads of state. I feel they should be nervous, because they are the ones who'll be held accountable for the lives their decisions will impact the most.

Grace is not something for which I must look in my heart. It is in the heart of God.

In the event of a cabin failure, oxygen masks will drop from the ceiling, and untangling them will annoy you before you die.

I love telling stories, that's it. I love it. That's the word I would choose to describe what I love the most.

I'm his locomotive and he's my shield.

Said to Mairin; "There's little decency to good loving" Maddie said. "If 'tis decent, it isn't much fun"!

For the first time in human history, society has the capacity, the knowledge and the resources to eradicate poverty