You deserve good sperm. You’ve waited a long time.

As I drove out the wrought iron gates I had entered, I noticed for the first time how intricate and beautiful they were. They were forged by hand so many years ago and had stood the test of time.

Do you remember the time, Mike, ” Jeremy laughed, “that you put a banana down your pants and walked up to the Palma-nator. It looked like you had one hell of a hard-on.

The sight washed over me like a damn wave that you never see coming until it’s too late and you’re face down eating sand.

The pimple is perfect.

Pitches are like pages of a book; they're so important. The chess game; how I set you up early, and how I'll do it differently later.

Overcoming difficulties leads to courage, self-respect, and knowing yourself.

The essence of true education in one's life is to show the presence of mind, heart and soul to sense everything right.

Everything I've ever dreamed of, everything in my wildest dreams, is coming true.

When politeness is used to show up other people, it is reclassified as rudeness. Thus it is technically impossible to be too polite.

To me, the highest expression of life is art with jokes. It's very rarified, very difficult to accomplish if you want to be more than just funny, and more than just jokes about human gaseousness.

If you don't like it, go somewhere else, to another universe where the rules are simpler.

Art should never be sociological; it has got to be timeless. It's got to be your vision and how you can represent the world you see.

Be the cure. Don't look outside yourself for it.