You deserved to get run over. And besides, I barely tapped you. The only reason you broke your leg was because you panicked and tripped over your own feet.

You're a marshmallow. Soft and sweet and when you get heated up you go all gooey and delicious."-

I shot that sucker right in the gumpy." Grandma Mazur

The 'Barnaby' books were always intended to be graphic novels.

I'm done with men. I have a hamster. That's all I need.

When I was six years old I sprinkled sugar on my head, convinced myself it was pixie dust, wished myself invisible, and walked into the boys' bathroom at school.

My Spanish is limited to burrito and taco.

Calories don’t count if they’re connected to a celebration. Everyone knows this.

-You're gloating, Max. It's not flattering. Somebody needs to teach you a little humility.- -A good woman could do that.- -She'd have to be armed and dangerous.-

Its always nice to have a stud muffin at the table.

Only men you can count on these days are Ben and Jerry.

No true...father would be unconcerned about discord in his family that may cause it to disintegrate in his absence...

You Can't Replace A Star with A Lightbulb

Americans are benevolently ignorant about Canada while Canadians are malevolently well informed about the United States.

Winning the 2007 Master's was a dream fulfilled culminating on Easter Sunday with my family was very special. You couldn't write it up any better.

Everybody thinks theyll never get married at your age. You think you can go on all your life being single, but you suddenly find out that you cant.

Prime-time network television has become an island without religion in an ever-more-religious America.

The less important you are in an office, the more they expect the happy smile.

To think that fulfilling yourself in this world will create eternal fulfillment is absurd. But we feel this way because we lack purity.

Success is the result of clear goal, unshakable confidence, proper planning, enthusiastic ACTION and consistent persistence.

God never does anything wrong. He knows what is best for me. No man can understand God, or know why He deals with us as He does.