You did something because it had always been done, and the explanation was, ‘But we’ve always done it this way.’ A million dead people can’t have been wrong, can they?

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

I am a follower of Jesus and a student of the Buddha. Why is that so hard for my fellow Christians to grasp?

I have so much in my life. I want to be of value to the world.

I don't need to be crazy rich and crazy famous. I would just like to keep going.

The usefulness of madmen is famous: they demonstrate society's logic flagrantly carried out down to its last scrimshaw scrap.

Writing is something Ive always done on the side. I thought that no one would be interested, so I kept it to myself.

On my morning run, I listen to sports talk radio.

I'll tell ya, I'm a genuinely nice guy. I really am. A real nice guy. But I think I'm temperamental.

The thing about tourism is that the reality of a place is quite different from the mythology of it.

I think classical ballet dancers dance on pointe because they're simultaneously touching the earth and reaching up to the skies

It's too bad I'm not a flirt. When I'm on the sets, I'm too busy working on my scenes to look at the ladies.