You do have a tendency to severe spinal cords.""Only for you.

I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of jack daniels.

You know you have ADD when Look A chicken - T-shirt

I may not look like much, but I'm an expert at pretending to be a ninja.

Never knock on death's door. Ring the doorbell then run. He totally hates that. - T-shirt

I stood and walked around the desk so I could stand over him. Menacingly. Like Darth Vader, only with better lung capacity.

You called me at four thirty-four....I hate four thirty-four. I think four thirty-four should be banned and replaced with something more reasonable, like, say, nine twelve.

He bombarded me with words, of all things, apparently clueless to the fact that the predawn hours rendered me incapable of coherent thought.

Maybe I needed sensitivity training. I once signed up for an anger management class, but the instructor pissed me off.

If I couldn't be a good example, I'd just have to be a horrible warning.

You rented the apartment with a dead guy in the corner?” I shrugged. “I wanted the apartment, and I figured I could cover him up with a bookcase or something.

Did I love what I was doing, or did I love myself in doing it?

If you can think independently, you are the master of this universe.

The finding of God is the coming to one's own self.

If you wish to reach the highest, begin at the lowest.

If God's Word is not absolutely and completely true, it is too weak a cable to fix our anchorage and guarantee our eternal peace.

Beauty hath no lustre save when it gleameth through the crystal web that purity's fine fingers weave for it.

You've got to get as literal as you can get to convince people sometimes that you can do something.

I don't know what's going to happen. I'm flavor of the month at the moment, but somebody else is going to roll around the corner in three months' time. I just want to keep working. I can't stop!

Normally you have news, weather and travel.....but not on snow day, on snow day news is weather is travel.