You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself.

My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.

I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them.

I've learned that you can't make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they'll panic and give in.

People come up to me and say, 'Emo, do people really come up to you?'

My hope for the future, not just in the music industry, but in every young girl I meet…is that they all realize their worth and ask for it.

Loyalty, respect for authority and some degree of sanctification create a more binding social order that places some limits on individualism and egoism.

Every great and original writer in proportion as he is great and original must himself create the taste by which he is to be relished.

Why does everyone think the future is space helmets, silver foil, and talking like computers, like a bad episode of Star Trek?

We all become great explorers during our first few days in a new city, or a new love affair.

If something robotic can have responsibilities then it should also have rights.

People also don't care about the daily comings and goings of diplomats and yet we must report it.

It's very important to go through periods where you sound just rotten and you know it, and you have to persevere or give up.

I'm really a very weak musicologist. Wish it weren't so, but there's only so much you can dig deeply into in one lifetime, as if you hadn't noticed.

Society needs first of all to be free from meddlersthat is, to be let alone.