You don't even need to go to college no more because you could learn how to do everything on YouTube.

You're a marshmallow. Soft and sweet and when you get heated up you go all gooey and delicious."-

I shot that sucker right in the gumpy." Grandma Mazur

The 'Barnaby' books were always intended to be graphic novels.

I'm done with men. I have a hamster. That's all I need.

When I was six years old I sprinkled sugar on my head, convinced myself it was pixie dust, wished myself invisible, and walked into the boys' bathroom at school.

My Spanish is limited to burrito and taco.

Calories don’t count if they’re connected to a celebration. Everyone knows this.

-You're gloating, Max. It's not flattering. Somebody needs to teach you a little humility.- -A good woman could do that.- -She'd have to be armed and dangerous.-

Its always nice to have a stud muffin at the table.

Only men you can count on these days are Ben and Jerry.

Can't couldn't do it and could did it all.

When God created man and woman, he was thinking, 'Who shall I give the power to, to give birth to the next human being?' And God chose woman. And this is the big evidence that women are powerful.

To delight in war is a merit in the soldier, a dangerous quality in the captain, and a positive crime in the statesman.

Of course, it's a great joy to be able to perform. And that love affair with an audience, where you give love and they give love back - it's a romantic situation.

You can count on time for two things. One is that it will pass. The other is that it will never shut up.

What if, when this fog scatters and flies upward, the whole rotten, slimey city goes with it, rises with the fog and vanishes like smoke.

I feel like there's always somebody out there ready to take your man. If you got a good man, women are like you know their sleeping around.

You can maybe be artistic and really original and creative, but as long as it's got that funniness at the root of it, then certain people are going to love it just because they need a laugh.

I'm still an angry dude. I'm just older. I still push the band to be heavy and dark-that's always been my role.

I think I'm painting a picture of two women but it may turn out to be a landscape.