You don't get a rebate at the end of your life for living with an idiot.

Screw normal. You know why? 'Cause if you're normal, the crowd will accept you. But if you're deranged, the crowd will make you their leader.

Everyone has an enemy. It's why God gave us baseball bats. Well, He gave us trees, but we knew what He meant.

I don't fail. I succeed at finding out what doesn't work.

Take the time to smell the roses. Sooner or later, you'll inhale a bee and die.

The normal make a living. The deranged make history.

I think when you sit alone with your brain too much, your own brain starts to rebel against you.

Socrates said, the unexamined life is not worth living. My dad said, Booty - mmm mmm.

I don't believe in right or left; I don't believe in Santa or Satan. I believe in things I can touch - like vodka and Oreos.

Anyone can have a relationship but if you're dating a woman who's so crazy in bed that if you aren't wearing your Kevlar one night you might never see daylight again... that's exciting.

The only thing that ever made me want to be a wife-beater is being called one. Your honor, can I have five minutes to make her not a liar, please?

I think too much importance is placed on spirit guides. They involve looking outside of ourselves to do it, to fix it, to tell us what to do.

Why should I be limited by my own biography?

Who cannot open an honest mind No friend will he be of mine.

The only thing that I was equipped for with my very mediocre college Arts degree was to get a job in teaching.

The Magnificent Seven was really kind of a miraculous event that took place in my life.

I want to make music that somehow connects to the things that I love in America music.

The more exposure people have to the realities of factory farming, the more we will see people rejecting it. It's already happening.

It is impossible to be among the woods animals on their own ground without a feeling of expanding one's own world, as when any foreign country is visited.

I was very interested in vaudeville. It was the only sort of discipline that was a five-minute act on stage, which is what I really enjoyed and saw myself doing. And I bought books on it.

Today, I attended a friend's birthday party dressed as a ninja. I soon discovered that ninjas are very misunderstood.