You don't go home and talk about the great tennis courts that you played, but you do talk about the golf courses you played.

Flattery is like chewing gum. Enjoy it but don't swallow it.

Meow is like aloha - it can mean anything.

Just because I didn't do what you told me, doesn't mean I wasn't listening to you!

No more turkey, but I'd like some more of the bread it ate.

Anyone in the humor business isn't thinking clearly if he doesn't surround himself with idea people. Otherwise, you settle for mediocrity - or you burn yourself out.

Dennis to friend: No use crying, Joey. There aren't any grownups around.

You have to understand something about girls, Mick. You see 'em in the winner's circle, but you'll never find horseshit on their shoes.

The primary source of the appeal of Christianity was Jesus - His incarnation, His life, His crucifixion, and His resurrection.

The world is changing. It is no longer a world just for boys and men

The only thing permanent is change.

No one has the right to not assume that the business cycle will turn! Every five years or so, you have got to assume that something bad will happen.

I think that Minnesota is different because we are proving that tri-partisan government could work, that you do not need to necessarily be a Democrat or a Republican to be successful at governing.

Someone's opinion of you isn't reality... unless you decide to allow it!! You are who God says you are!!!

In love, a verse of Mimnermus has more power than one of Homer.

You're doing your kids a disservice if they do get everything they want because that's not the way life's going to go, and I think kids have to have some reality.

The secret to editing your work is simple: you need to become its reader instead of its writer.