You don't know what pressure is until you play for $5 with only $2 in your pocket.

My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.

Pressure is playing for ten dollars when you don't have a dime in your pocket.

Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe.

You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.

I'm going to win so much money this year, my caddie will make the top twenty money-winners list.

The older I get, the better I used to be.

You're Mexican until you make money and then you're Spanish.

I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.

If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.

There are two things you can do with your head down - play golf and pray.

A heart can only become fragile if unconditional self-love is continuously deprived from it.

I always have my reasons, even when I don't know what they are.

I think they paid attention to their lives and became wise. For those of us who don’t arrive at wisdom naturally, meditation is one way to get there through practice.

'Be Cool' was a defining movie for me.

I've been told over and over not to go on the Bill Maher show. Well, my best moments have happened on the Bill Maher show. It's been magic for me.

The brightest thunder-bolt is elicited from the darkest storm.

hold your head high and keep those fists down - Atticus Finch

I am a restless person.

I'm a powerful S.O.B., you know that?

My interest is in how meaning is communicated via language, and I believe the shape, positioning, even the color of the language has an effect on meaning.