You don't need to take a persons advice to make him feel good, just ask him for it.

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.

Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.

Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.

Don't believe in miracles - depend on them.

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.

Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.

When in doubt or danger, run in circles, scream and shout.

A man doesn't know what he knows until he knows what he doesn't know.

There are two kinds of failures: those who thought and never did, and those who did and never thought

Some problems are so complex that you have to be highly intelligent and well informed just to be undecided about them.

All human endeavors are the achievements of the little specks of jelly in your head.

The Snowflake CharmBe As Unique As A Snowflake: Embrace All Your Dimensions

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth.

I love it when you talk that sh-t.

When any opinion leads us into absurdities, 'tis certainly false; but 'tis not certain an opinion is false, because 'tis of dangerous consequence.

American laws don't work, but at least the laws of physics might work.

The present age of contentment will come to an end only when and if the adverse developments that it fosters challenge the sense of comfortable well-being

Faith doesn't reduce uncertainty. Faith embraces uncertainty.

Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them.

Do, What you're going to do in longevity. Not just what happens tomorrow.