You don't really drive in cabs in L.A. unless you're broke or homeless - or if you're broke and driving the cab.

If it has to sell its mascot, your team sucks.

Fantasy football is not only a good thing, but a great thing.

If it doesn't know what to charge you for nosebleed seats, your team sucks.

What bothers me most about today is that we're getting used 2 it. ENOUGH. 2nd amendment must go. Violence has 2 stop. Culture MUST change.

You know how to tell if the teacher is hung over? Movie Day.

When human beings stop progressing at an endeavor, they stop enjoying it and move on to something else. Not golfers. Masochists, all of them.

I think golf is a waste of time and a waste of a sunny afternoon. I also stink at it. I have never found anything, including divorce and a sexual harassment suit, more frustrating.

If a waiter or waitress tells me when gratuity is included they automatically get more gratuity. When they hide it I go with the leg kick.

I miss third grade because you could kill people in dodgeball. Remember the rules to dodgeball? If you're fat or have glasses, don't show up because you'll die.

Why are baseball managers the only coaches who dress up like the players?

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but of power and of love and of calm and well balanced mind and discipline and self-control.

Every dream has a creator in it, And it completes the creator by itself.

U.S.-China relations doesn't need another lawyer.

If you do your work, eventually there will be a spark. A fire. A blaze.

The trouble with paternalists is that they want to make impossibly profound changes, and they choose impossibly superficial means for doing so.

We are all equal, rich and poor and we need a society where the people enjoy their rights.

The election is not a time to discuss serious issues.

Perfect nonsense goes on in the world. Sometimes there is no plausibility at all

A grateful mind is a great mind which eventually attracts to itself great things.