You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets.

Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.

When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.

I am continually fascinated at the difficulty intelligent people have in distinguishing what is controversial from what is merely offensive.

Summer bachelors, like summer breezes, are never as cool as they pretend to be.

If pregnancy were a book they would cut the last two chapters.

My mother wanted us to understand that the tragedies of your life one day have the potential to be comic stories the next.

Marriages come and go, but divorce is forever.

Some people pretend to like capers, but the truth is that any dish that tastes good with capers in it tastes even better with capers not in it.

That [photographs] disturb readers is exactly as it should be: that's why photojournalism is often more powerful than written journalism.

If you're looking for monogamy, you'd better marry a swan.

Those that succeed most in life are those that see wisdom in life as a positive venture.

Hardships refine a man to what he ought to be.

By the time I was 7 or 8, I wanted to be a comedy writer.

Yesterday when we were getting high, you were invited. You woulda liked it.

The only gambling tip which amounts to anything is to keep out of the game.

What a man marries for's hard to tell ... an' what a woman marries for's past findin' out.

Obey the muse, Liz said. She's a fickle mistress.

No parts of his Majesty's dominions can be taxed without their consent.

Sadism is all right in its place, but it should be directed to proper ends.

What power has love but forgiveness? In other words by its intervention what has been done can be undone. What good is it otherwise?