You find out your mistakes from an audience that pays admission.

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

Well, a friend in need is a friend indeed.

Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. Early bird gets the worm, but the second worm gets to live. Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

Nobody seems to know yet how television is going to affect the radio, movies, love, housekeeping or the church, but it has definitely revived vaudeville.

Show me where Stalin is buried and I'll show you a Communist Plot.

I was asking Charlie the most important questions, and you heard the answers.

Funny, nothing ever happens nowadays.

We had to have a star each week.. Possibly our program being on Sunday and having a little fun with the Bible was dangerous.

After 13 years of life on the half shell in Hollywood, I have made a trip where I wasn't a tourist.

Speak success into existence.

Dogs are always going to come up short if you insist on defining them as a weird kind of cat.

I'm not a guy who needs to drink coffee or anything to get myself going in the morning. I wake up, and I'm full of energy.

We don't really live in a culture that loves boys or loves children, and we don't encourage boys to be whole.

If the poor rabbits knew I was selling their dead bodies for wine, they would be heartbroken.

Every time something bad happens, like we lose a day because of weather or an actor gets injured or anything else happens, the schedule has to change. It's the most challenging Tetris puzzle.

However dark our lot may be, there is light enough on the other side of the cloud.

If the president of the United States, if he's smart, if he needs help, he’d come. I could do a favor for the president

If Moses had operated through committees the Israelites never would have got across the Red Sea.