You get really disillusioned, because you thought you were in love. But you realize that you're just alone.

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.

I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.

The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.

A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.

Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

An air of mystery closed around the details of his early life. I didn't pry. He had been through hell and had a right to his secrets.

If a player continues transgressing the rules his side shall lose him.

Patience with others is Love Patience with self is Hope Patience with God is Faith.

Alternative descriptions of the same reality evoke different emotions and different associations.

I'm all in favor of getting grants for musicians. Or any other good brand of Scotch.

To resolve such conflicts peacefully in our interdependent - or what I would like to call our intra-interdependent - world requires not just well-chosen words but sustained and unified action.

I'm not too fond of the hard work and the constant battle with self-doubt that goes on when I write, but I figure that's part of the territory.

But Mary Elizabeth felt different. She kept saying it was an "articulate" film. So "articulate." And I guess it was. The thing is, I didn't know what it said even if it said it very well.

Who you spend time with is who you become.

Both read the Bible day and night, but thou read black where I read white.